It was statistically impossible that we’d have a baby, but we felt like God had shown us that He was going to give us a baby.
We’d been married for about two years when we decided to start having kiddos, but after actively trying for about a year—Chad always says, “It was a labor of love!”—we sat down with a fertility specialist and found out we had a 1% chance of conceiving naturally.
It was statistically impossible that we’d have a baby, but we felt like God had shown us that He was going to give us a baby. We wrote that word down to stand on and remind each other of it and point each other back to His faithfulness.
Every month, I felt like God was saying, “This is the month!” but I didn’t see it happening. One month, after finding out we still weren’t pregnant, I just remember us holding hands before meeting up with family because I just couldn’t go inside. I couldn’t put on a happy face. But Chad very much believes we don’t worry until we have a reason to, and that steadiness was a big strength I could lean on. We stood with each other, and we grew in our intimacy—even in the hard moments.
Infertility, Divorce and New Beginnings
We got some advice from friends who’d experienced infertility to not discuss the results of the tests—between ourselves or with family or friends, and we followed that. We didn’t want to focus on it because we didn’t want anyone to give or feel blame. This wasn’t “a you-and-I” thing. This was an “us” thing. We decided to focus on God and trust in Him together. The reason didn’t matter—we believe God works in the impossible.
The reason didn’t matter—we believe God works in the impossible.
After we got our results, Monica was really upset. We were running errands, and I (Chad) said, “Let’s buy some baby shoes in faith that one day, a little one will fill them.” We texted our friends and family that we were believing for a baby and to pray for us for 30 days, that God would turn our 1% chance into a miracle, gave some scriptures, and asked if they heard anything to share it.
The words we received were amazing: God leaves the 99 for the one. A postcard that said “Baby 2020” from Monica’s mom. Monica heard “2020” from God. In late December, she was driving home and saw the top and bottom of a rainbow, but the middle was missing, and she felt like God was saying, “You can’t see it, but there’s a middle connecting the two. You will be a mom.” Sometime between Christmas and New Year’s, I had a conscious feeling of What if this is the last time this is just the two of us?
It was around that time that Grace was conceived. And the moment when we found out was so sweet, but a few weeks later, I (Monica) started bleeding pretty heavily. I remember being so panicked. Chad helped me calm down, and that night, my mom said, “You’ve got to decide right now what you’re going to believe about God. No matter which way this goes, you can’t leave this believing a lie about Him.”
Fear Has To Go
The next day, Chad wrapped up the baby shoes we’d bought in faith and gave them to me as a reminder of God’s faithfulness. After that, the pregnancy was pretty smooth and amazing.
Just watching what God did up to her birth, we feel like Grace’s life carries this breakthrough for miracles. Quite a few people told us that when they were praying for her, they hadn’t prayed in a long time. We did a drive-thru baby shower during the pandemic where we prayed for people, and somebody even got baptized in the pool in the backyard!