My Spouse Gave Up


Video Caption: What do you do when your spouse gives up? They're emotionally and maybe even physically absent, and you can't take it anymore. Sean and Lanette give you a look at what you could do to get out of this rut.

Video Transcript:

A question we received from a follower is my spouse gave up, what do I do? They gave up on the marriage. They are maybe emotionally they’ve tapped out. Um, they’re just not responsive, uh, communication wise. And so they’ve just given up, but they’re still in the home.

That’s a difficult spot to be in. Um, when a person has basically withdrawn, they’re at a point to where maybe within them.. They don’t see the point in like giving the effort, going to counseling. Yeah. Something in them has believed a lot. And it’s hard for you to fix their belief. The challenge is to get to a point where you guys can unpack what it is that’s actually causing them to withdraw within the relationship.

Whenever a person gets to a point to where they’re kind of reserved. They’re extra cautious or they’ve given up, they’re not putting up a fight in the sense of fighting for the relationship. Then we need to get to a point where it’s urgent that something be done like right now, to be able to say, you know what, we can’t live like this for another three, four or five years.

You know, we need intimacy. We need to be able to connect. And honestly, I would say that. I would let them know like, Hey, I’m here, I’m in it. I want this. Yeah. Do you want this? And if you do, I need some life here. I need you to help me.

You know, they may not be willing to go to marriage coaching or marriage counseling, but maybe they’re willing to do some individual counseling.

Um, you know, because for whatever reason, maybe, you know, they’ve lost trust or they’ve just lost hope in you. And so it may be too much to ask them to go to marriage counseling, but what about individual counseling? What have you just were able to speak with someone and you can kiss get off of your chest, you know, Burdened you and what you’re feeling right now, if they just had someone that they can talk to, that they can go to, whether it was a mentor or someone that would probably be something that I would love to see how yeah.

And if they won’t do that, then I would approach them with different questions. Um, and look for them to give you a response to where they show some signs of. And if not, you really have a decision that you need to make to be able to say, you know what? Um, I’m not in this by myself in the moment that a person is going to the extent to where they don’t want to have sex.

They don’t want to communicate. They’re not participating in it at all. They’re basically abandoning the relationship and they’re leaving you to do life alone. That’s different. And so we always want to see reconciliation. We always want to see. We also don’t want you to be abandoned within the relationship.

And so my jolt of energy to you would be to go to them. You could show them this video, and then you can say, Hey, we need to talk because this is how I feel. I feel like you’ve withdrawn so far that you’ve abandoned me in a relationship and I’m carrying the marriage by myself. Yeah. What can we do about it and engage in a dialogue that helps them to understand.

I can’t keep going like this because some people they’ve withdrawn so far and they think that you’ll just kind of tolerate it know for another year or two years, you got to put your foot down, you got to say, you know what, Hey, I love you and I want it, but I can’t continue to live like this. And so listen, if this video has helped you, don’t forget to like to subscribe and to share and listen for something like this.

I would love for you to grab a hold to a resource 21 day inner healing. It would be great for you because you need to unpack some of the, the trauma and the emotion that you’ve gone through as you’ve undergone years or months or weeks of disappointment in this area. And so making sure that you don’t lose your spiritual grip on God and you’re interrupting. It’s so important for you right now. So make sure that you check out We have plenty of resources for you. We are praying for good success over your relationship. We hope this video has helped you.

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