A Marriage That Survives the Children

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Photo Caption: Young parents playing with their son and daughter in the living room. Mom and dad having fun with their children during playtime. Family of four spending some quality time together at home.

As believers, we need to nurture our marriages during the busy years of raising a family so our relationships will thrive and positively impact our children.

Parenthood is a beautiful and transformative journey but can also bring significant challenges to a couple’s marital satisfaction. Research by relationship expert, John Gottman, revealed that 67 percent of couples experience a decline in marital satisfaction after having children (Journal of Family Psychology, Vol. 14, No. 1). It is crucial to recognize that this post-child discontent, although common, can have a negative impact not only on the couple but also on their kids.

Studies spanning two decades highlight the adverse effects of marital conflict on children, including increased chances of depression, poor social skills, and conduct disorders later in life. Many couples think of the post-children slump as expected and inevitable. Marital dissatisfaction is neither inevitable nor necessary. Refuse to accept that verdict. As believers, we need to nurture our marriages during the busy years of raising a family so our relationships will thrive and positively impact our children.

Your Marriage Is Important

Understand that a strong and loving marriage serves as a foundation for the entire family’s well-being. Recognize that prioritizing your relationship is not selfish but a wise investment that benefits you and your children. Pastor Jimmy Evans writes, “God designed marriage to operate as the second most important priority in life, coming next to your relationship with Him. If we put marriage in any position of priority other than the one God instituted, it does not work.”

Respectful Communication Is Necessary

Maintaining healthy communication is paramount for your marriage. Listen and express your thoughts and feelings with respect and understanding. Address conflicts calmly and constructively, considering the influence these exchanges will have on your child’s well-being.

Partnership Is Critical

Embrace your roles as partners and parents by sharing responsibilities and supporting each other’s needs. This includes creating an environment where both spouses feel valued, appreciated, and understood. Regularly express gratitude and encouragement for one another. You are modeling the principle of teamwork for your kids.

Your children are not neglected when you spend time alone with your spouse.

Time Together Is Vital

Amid the busyness of parenting, deliberately carve out dedicated time for just the two of you. Schedule date nights, engage in shared activities, or enjoy meaningful conversations. These moments strengthen your bond and reinforce the love and commitment in your relationship. Your children are not neglected when you spend time alone with your spouse.

Godly Guidance Is Essential

Rely on your shared faith as a source of strength and guidance. Dedicate time to pray together, study the Bible, and seek wise advice from other mature believers. Your shared faith connection will help you during challenging times and bring unity to your marriage.

Self-Care Is Crucial

Take care of yourselves individually and as a couple. Set aside time for rest, relaxation, and personal interests. Make sure you encourage and facilitate all these for your spouse. By nurturing yourselves, you will be better equipped to nurture your family.

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