“…the two shall become one flesh…” Genesis 2:24b
When God created marriage, He created foundational laws for it to be guided and guarded. One of those laws is the law of possession. It is stated in the Scripture above. Once we are married we are no longer two, but one.
Certainly, this relates to the beauty of sexual intimacy that is unique within the marriage relationship. But it also goes far beyond that and is a profoundly important concept to understand. The law of possession means that for marriage to work, we must share everything and possess nothing apart from one another.
…God created marriage to produce the deepest intimacy and bonding possible in a human relationship. Once we are married, we must yield our rights over our own bodies.
To illustrate the truth of this point, look at these words from the Apostle Paul: “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-4
The meaning of this Scripture reveals how God created marriage to produce the deepest intimacy and bonding possible in a human relationship. Once we are married, we must yield our rights over our own bodies. This isn’t a license for abuse, it is a guarantee of use in getting our needs met. The context of Paul’s words is sex in marriage
In God’s design, we can’t withhold from each other. This includes sex or any other area. We must give everything we have to each other and share everything. This is why it is called the law of possession. The only way two different individuals can become one is if both of us are willing to take what was ours individually and now surrender it to the common cause.
This law stands in stark contrast to marriage in our modern society. Rather than surrendering and sharing with a sacrificial, servant spirit — couples are more selfish and independent than ever. It is “my” body “my” money “my”—career. etc. The bottom line is this—the word “my” destroys the spirit of marriage. The word “ours” creates the spirit of marriage.
Marriage is about sharing our lives with each other. That requires giving of ourselves and caring for each other. It means we don’t make decisions without the agreement of our spouses. It means we don’t withdraw sex or anything else in the relationship to punish or control. It means all of the money and assets of the family belong to both spouses equally, regardless of where they came from or who went to work to earn them.
Selfishness and independence destroy the spirit of marriage. Giving and sharing create the strongest bond of intimacy possible. This intimacy is so powerful that the word used to describe it is “one”. Two people becoming one heart, one home and one mind as they lay aside their individualism and selfishness is what marriage is all about.
I encourage you to consider this point related to your own marriage. It is an area we can all grow in.