In today’s world, it seems like everyone’s doing it—moving in together before getting married, that is. In fact, about 70% of couples cohabit before tying the knot.
In addition, 50 to 65% of couples believe that living together before marriage will improve their odds of relationship success. This belief is especially strong among younger people, who see cohabitation as a way to test the waters before making a lifelong commitment.
But what if we told you that this common practice might actually be doing the opposite of what you’re hoping for?
The Surprising Truth About Cohabitation and Divorce
Here’s the thing: research has consistently shown that living together before marriage is linked to a higher risk of divorce. This phenomenon is so common that it even has a name—the “cohabitation effect.” And it’s not just a fluke or a coincidence; the data backs it up.
A recent study focusing on couples who got married for the first time between 2010 and 2019 found that those who lived together before getting married were more likely to see their marriages end in divorce. Specifically, 34% of marriages ended among those who cohabited before being engaged, compared to 23% of marriages for those who only lived together after getting married. That’s a pretty significant difference!
So, what’s going on here? Why is cohabitation before marriage linked to a higher chance of divorce?
Timing and Intentions Matter
The study suggests that the timing of when you move in together plays a big role in marital success. Couples who move in together before they’ve made a life long commitment to one another may find themselves facing more challenges down the road whereas, couples who wait until they’re married to live together tend to have stronger, more stable marriages.
It seems that having clear intentions about your future together—before you share a home—can make a big difference. When couples slide into cohabitation without solid commitment, they might be setting themselves up for trouble later on.
Specifically, 34% of marriages ended among those who cohabited before being engaged, compared to 23% of marriages for those who only lived together after getting married. That’s a pretty significant difference!
Why Are You Moving In Together?
Another important factor to consider is why you’re moving in together in the first place. If your main reason for cohabiting is to test the relationship or because it’s more convenient or financially sensible, you might want to think twice. The research found that couples who moved in together for these reasons were more likely to see their marriages end.
On the other hand, if your intention is to build a future together and you’re committed to getting married, it makes more sense to marry first and then move in together, rather than risking your marriage by cohabitating beforehand.
How to Lower Your Risk of Divorce
So, what can you do to increase your odds of a successful marriage? Here are a few key takeaways:
- Consider Waiting to Move In Together:Couples who wait until they’re married to live together tend to have stronger marriages and a lower risk of divorce compared to those who cohabit before engagement.
- Have Clear Intentions:To reduce the likelihood of divorce, couples should consider clearly committing to marriage before moving in together and wait until after the wedding to share a home.
- Think About Your Reasons: Having an intentional conversation about the meaning and implications of living together, rather than simply drifting into cohabitation, can help prevent marital challenges for couples.
The Bottom Line
While cohabitation before marriage is becoming more common, it’s important to be aware of the risks. By waiting to live together until you’re married, and by having clear, mutual intentions about your future, you can increase your chances of having a lasting, successful union. It might not be the popular choice, but it could be the one that leads to a stronger, happier relationship in the long run.