The sweetest sound in the world, to me, is my wife Ashley’s voice! I enjoy listening to her singing, whispering, flirting or talking about nearly any subject in the world. While I always enjoy her voice, there are certain statements she makes that cause my heart to race and put a big smile on my face.
I know that every man and every marriage are different, but I’ve been working with married couples long enough to recognize some clear consistencies. There are three statements nearly every husband longs to hear often from his wife. If you’re a wife reading this, let me challenge you to start saying (or keep saying) these things to your man. They matter more to him than you may have ever realized.
In no particular order…
“I trust your judgment.”
I’m going to let you in on a little secret…We men are usually more insecure than we look. We’re always wondering if we measure up and if YOU (our wife) think we’re capable and trustworthy. When your husband believes that you believe in him, he will be at his very best. He’ll believe he can take on the world. Build him up with your words. Let him know you think he’s the man and that you believe in him and trust his choices and his motives. Your trust communicates respect and he needs respect more than anything else.
“I appreciate all you do for our family.”
My good friend Shaunti Feldhahn is a bestselling author and brilliant social researcher. Her research revealed that most men would rather hear the phrase, “Thank you,” than the words, “I love you.” It’s not that men don’t want to feel loved, but men tend to feel most loved when they feel respected and appreciated. Women want to feel respected and appreciated as well, but women tend to prefer feeling adored and pursued while men tend to prefer feeling respected and appreciated as their primary needs.
(In your sexiest voice) “I’m wearing new panties. Do you want to see them?”
Okay, this one is a little tongue-in-cheek, but as a man, I can promise you that when you say ANYTHING sexually suggestive or seductive to your husband it will usually make his day. He’s already thinking about sex even more than you think he is, and when you’re the one who initiates, he simultaneously feels desired, respected, excited and connected to you. He wants to know you’ve never outgrown your crush on him.
There are plenty of other statements men want to hear, but if you’ll start with these, you’ll be on the right track!
Men, if you’re reading this, before you forward it on to your wife for homework, I want to give a few challenges to you. My wife Ashley has written an article on the statements wives want to hear, but based on my own observations, I want to give you a few tips.
First off, watch your tone with your wife. The tone of your words will shape the tone of your marriage. Be tender with her. She wants to see your soft side. She feels the most safe with you when you are speaking to her tenderly.
While you’re speaking with that loving tone, be sure to remind her of your love for her. Let her know that you’re captivated by her and that you only have eyes for her. Let her know how lucky you feel, how thankful you are that she chose you and how excited you are about dreaming new dreams together for the rest of your lives.
Keep building each other up with your words. That’s biblical and practical. Let your words reflect the love you have for each other. It’s simple advice and it’s completely free to put it into practice, but it just might change your marriage more than anything else.