Cultivating a strong marriage takes work. Both spouses must consciously resist the tendency to get on auto-pilot with the unrealistic expectation that things will somehow work out on their own. We can’t allow work, friends, or even our kids to keep us from giving our spouse significant time and attention. We must be intentional each day. We must keep pursuing one another by treating each other as a very high priority, but sometimes we lose sight of how to do this in the busyness of work, raising kids, paying bills, etc.. However, we can do it!
As wives, we can intentionally and effectively prioritize our husbands regularly in specific ways that will resonate with him as the male that God wired him up to be. Here are 7 ways wives can make their husbands a priority (in no particular order):
1. Pray with him and for him every day.
Nothing has brought my husband and me closer to God and one another more than prayer. We pray together every night, and we each pray for each other daily. If this isn’t something the two of you currently do, I encourage you to just bow your head and have a simple conversation with God. Tell Him what is on your heart. Ask Him to make your marriage stronger, to help you to be the very best wife you can be to your husband, and to help resolve any conflicts between the two of you.
2. Make him feel special with little acts of love.
The longer we’re married, the more we tend to forget to do those “little acts of love” that we did in the beginning of our relationship. But, it’s so important, and it doesn’t have to be complicated. These little acts of love are just simple ways to let your husband know that you think about him and want to make him feel special. Cook him his favorite meal every now and then. Surprise him at work with his favorite coffee. Hide little love notes in his coat pockets or lunch (if he takes one to work). Rub his shoulders. Randomly buy him some clothing that you know he would like. Whatever you do, just think about what would make him smile, and let him know that he’s on your mind and in your heart each day.
3. Do his favorite hobby/sport alongside him.
Studies show that men are more willing to talk when they are doing something they love and when they are side-by-side someone, as opposed to face-to-face. So, when you join your husband in doing his favorite hobby or sport, you will have fun AND have better conversations. If you aren’t sure what hobby or sport to engage in with your hubby, just ask him. He might be surprised that you asked, and he will be excited to have you join him in the experience.
4. Plan a romantic date or weekend getaway for the two of you at a place that you know he loves.
Date nights and weekend getaways are a breath of fresh air for your marriage. So why not initiate planning it? Make reservations at his favorite restaurant. Go see a movie that you know he’s been dying to see. If you can arrange for an overnight babysitter, take your husband to one of his favorite getaway spots and soak in the alone time together. You both will be so glad you did, and you’ll be looking forward to planning the next one too.
5. Send him thoughtful, and even flirtatious, texts throughout the day to stay connected.
This one is fun, and it’s super simple. In the age of the smartphone, we have more ways to stay connected with our spouse than ever before. So, why not use it to strengthen your marriage? Let your husband know that he is on your mind. Ask him how his day is going. Share links to articles you found interesting or reviews of places you’d like to go with him. Tell him that you are excited to see him later–if you know what I mean. Texting one another throughout the day is an amazing way to keep you and your husband connected and on the same page.
6. Discover his “love language.”
Many of you have probably heard of the book, “The Five Love Languages,” by Gary Chapman. If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend that you do so. It has helped my marriage tremendously. When you read it, you and your husband can take an assessment to find out what your primary “love languages” are. A love language is simply the way that we give and receive love, and there are five different types. Reading the book and taking the assessment will help you both have a better understanding of how to show love and appreciation to one another.
7. Initiate sex.
Sex is vital to a thriving marriage, yet we hear from so many wives who see it as just another thing on “the list.” I get it, Ladies. I do. But, infrequent sex is very hard on a marriage. Our husbands shouldn’t have to nag us for it (and vice versa). So, why not initiate sex? He will LOVE that you are making the first move, and it will make your marriage more enjoyable.
There are all kinds of other ways to show your husband that he is a priority in your life. It all comes down to how we manage our time and tongue. Your encouraging words and willingness to spend significant time with your husband will go a long way to keeping your marriage strong.