How Do Affairs Happen?


Video Caption: In this clip from XO 2021 Colorado Springs, Pastor Brady Boyd helps us recognize the start of an affair before they happen.

Video Transcript:

there are three lies that the enemy comes to every married couple every person that’s ever been married there are three lies that the enemy tempts you with he’s trying to lure you away from the covenant relationship you have in your marriage and let me just tell you these three lies and all of you have been tempted to believe one of these three lies and the first one is i deserve to be happy and i don’t know if you’ve noticed or not if you’ve been married more than 30 days marriage is gloriously difficult work not every day is disney not every day is a happy day it’s work it’s when two or more people are gathered together there will be a fuss pam and i don’t fight but we fuss because we’re southern people we don’t fight we just fuss with one another and this is what happens when two people come together it’s in that moment where the enemy comes to you and says i thought they were supposed to make you happy i thought this marriage the reason you got into this relationship the reason you got into this marriage was to be happy and the enemy says this he often shapes it in a form of a question he says are you happy right now come on all the married people in the room don’t get quiet on me there are times in your married life if the enemy comes to you and says do you feel happy right now the answer would be no i don’t feel happy right now and then then you begin to buy into the lie then he takes you on this journey toward an adulterous affair so here’s the second one if you believe that first lie then the second lie would be another woman or another man will make me happy what happens is you’re scrolling through instagram at that very moment where you’re not feeling happy about your marriage and you look at this beautiful dinner that he took her on and she has roses they’re all dressed up the kids aren’t crying they look like they’re having an epic wednesday night and you realize that couple looks happy i’m not happy right now that man knows how listen very carefully that man knows how to make her happy or it seems like she knows how to make him happy and suddenly you’ve bought into a lie which now leads you to the third lie is i i’ve married the wrong person so i deserve to start over i i just was with a couple where she said that out loud in the the time that i was with them she said i married the wrong person i have it was almost like it was a god-given right to go back to you know pass go don’t collect 200 bucks start over i married the wrong person so i deserve to start over so one of those three lies begins to creep into your in into your mind and your heart and i just want to say this there are people watching online from around the world today there are lots of people in the room some of you in this room have already believed one of those three lies and you’ve already taken some subtle steps away from your marriage but i want to point you to proverbs chapter 10 and verse 9. listen to this particular passage of scripture the man of integrity walks securely in other words if you haven’t done anything wrong there’s no reason to be afraid but the man of integrity walks securely but he who takes crooked paths will be found out i’ve said this to numerous couples over the years there have been couples that have walked into my office confessing to me that they’re involved in an extramarital affair or they’re headed in that direction and without a hundred percent of the time i look at them with all pastoral you know dignity i’m not trying to shame them i’m not trying to hurt them i’m trying to help them and i’ve said to every one of them you’re going to get caught you’re not going to get away with it and the enemy says hey you can do all this and it’s not going to hurt anyone it’s not going to cause any harm yes i have never met a couple that walked through adultery or had an affair that was not devastated more than they thought more harm was causing them than they imagined and the enemy under promises and over delivers on pain you

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