How to Meet Your Wife’s Need for Security


God designed men and women with particular needs they are unable to meet on their own. He created marriage, in part, to allow husbands and wives to meet those needs for each other.

A woman’s greatest need is for security. Her most secure environment is one in which she is married to a sacrificial, sensitive man.

The Bible describes that kind of husband in Ephesians 5:25. Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Men, Jesus gave His life for you, and you are to follow His example in your marriage. In other words, love her more than you love yourself. Sacrifice for her.

What does a sacrificial husband look like?

· He is dedicated to serving his wife.

· He puts her needs above his own.

· He makes sure she gets whatever she needs.

· He studies his wife to understand her better.

· He communicates with her and shares what’s on his heart.

· He doesn’t need to be nagged. When she asks for something, he does it.

Paul says a husband’s love for his wife is to be the same kind of love that Jesus had for the church. Jesus sacrificed Himself as the perfect Lamb of God.

To meet your wife’s need for security, you have to show that same sacrificial spirit which means you may have to give something up. Earlier in our marriage, I had to give up my love for golf because I was beginning to value it more than I valued Karen, and she knew it.

You might have to sacrifice:

· An interest or hobby, even if it’s something you’re passionate about.

· A certain group of friends who are destructive toward your marriage.

· An event or opportunity that takes you away from home or your family.

· A promotion that means longer hours or more travel.

· A job that is keeping you from being the husband and father she needs you to be.

Jesus sacrificed for us, and a husband is called to sacrifice for his wife. Meeting her need for security means using both your words and actions to tell her, “Nothing is as important to me as you are, and I will give up anything to make sure your needs are met.”

Several years ago, I led the funeral for my uncle. He and my aunt were married 40 years and had a wonderful marriage. When I was preparing for his eulogy, my aunt told me that he wrote her a new poem every day of their marriage. Over four decades, every morning, she found that poem on their dining room table.

She was the happiest woman on earth because she started each day knowing he had been thinking about her. His mind was on her. He sacrificed his time to make sure she knew that.

A woman will feel insecure when the man she has married is selfish and detached, when she knows she is low on his priority list. She will feel the most secure when she knows her husband is always thinking about her—and willing to sacrifice anything for her.

Guys, does your wife know that about you?

Learn more about the four foundational needs of every woman. Watch “What a Woman Really Needs” with Jimmy and Karen Evans.

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