No amount of physical attraction, chemistry, money, or accolades can make up the difference of simply being present for one another in our marriages and families.
The disappearance of Tom Brady from training camp has been causing quite a stir. There are a few different speculations that have been thrown around about why he might be gone, but it reminds us of the time back in 2018 and 2019 when Tom candidly decided to skip OTAs to spend more time with his family.
I (Dave) am big football fan so, of course, I’m a Tom Brady fan. I believe he’s the greatest quarterback to ever live. I also appreciate the honesty and transparency he has communicated about his marriage. In 2018, he had confessed that Giselle came to him and essentially told him, “Your work-life is out of balance with the rest of your life. You’re pursuing your career, and you’re the best that’s ever been at doing it, but in the process, you’ve not been the best husband. You haven’t been the best father because you’re always absent. You may have had good intentions and motives, you may have been faithful to me and an excellent provider for me and our kids, but we need more of you.”
We can all do with less of almost everything if it means having more of our marriage partner. This is a great reminder for everyone that no amount of physical attraction, chemistry, money, or accolades can make up the difference of simply being present for one another in our marriages and families.
Tom and Giselle’s marriage has been in the spotlight, but I’m glad they have been honest about some of the tensions and struggles they’re facing, because every marriage faces these issues. Of course, it will look different for those of us who are in not in mega-rich celebrity marriages, but every couple has to work through these tensions and challenges.
What does that balance look like for our marriage and family? How can I make sure Ashley has the opportunity to pursue her dreams? How do I ensure both of us are having opportunities to follows our callings while still putting our marriage and family ahead of our careers, hobbies, or accolades, because all that other stuff is temporary.
As Tom Brady’s career football is drawing to a close, he knows it won’t last forever. A career is temporary; a marriage is lifelong. In our marriages and families, we want to make sure we always prioritize each other because that is what will last.
We have to speak up for what we need.
I (Ashley) love that Giselle is made it known how she truly feels, because I think sometimes, especially when a spouse is extremely successful, we are tempted just to go along even when we are very unhappy.
Tom has received all these accolades, and he’s majorly financially successful, obviously. There are many other ways individual success is recognized, and when it is, the other spouse can be affected by that, particularly wives. They may feel they don’t have a voice, but I appreciate how Giselle knows she does have a say in their marriage. I love that dynamic. I commend them for that as a couple because they’re both making their thoughts known and deciding together.
They’re asking questions like, “What does it look like for us?” Or like Dave said, “How can we both chase our dreams” Even more, they’re asking, “How can we be there for our children?” They have kids together and want to those children to know who they are, so they need to both spend time with them.
Many of us can’t relate to their wealth as far as their amazingly successful lifestyle. But I think we can all relate to navigating the sometimes-murky waters of work-life balance. I commend them on being willing to do things a little differently than maybe their peers are doing them, because I think other people can look at them as an example. People they know may say, “Well, that’s weird”” or “Oh my goodness! Is there some major home problem going on in their lives?” But, to me, it looks like they’re not waiting until something catastrophic happens. They’re being proactive, and they’re doing it now.
That’s what we all need to do. We have to speak up for what we need. When we hear our spouse’s concerns, we need to act accordingly. We need to be willing to do things a little differently. People at our work may not completely understand, but our families are worth taking that risk.