When my husband, Dave, and I started dating, I would frequently ask him what he was thinking about whenever we had a pause in our conversation. He was so sweet to try and give me a reasonable answer, even though I am sure this practice became kind of annoying to him. I don’t ask him that question as often anymore, but I still sometimes wonder what he is thinking.
He recently wrote an interesting blog about this subject called “9 Things Your Husband is Always Thinking About,” and he challenged me to do the same. I honestly laughed at the prospect because he had a concise list of nine, and I didn’t know where to start with making a list for women (since we think a million or so thoughts a day). However, I will try since communication and mutual understanding are both essential to a thriving marriage. So, here goes. Husbands, here are ten questions your wife asks herself every day
5 Things Your Husband is Always Thinking About
What is on the to-do list today (and can I do it all)?
As women, we wear a lot of hats. We have a husband, kids, a job, a home, errands to run, and so on. We could spend a whole day caring for each of these things, but we can’t do it all. We must prioritize our faith and family and do what only we can do and outsource or delegate the rest.
Does my husband still find me desirable?
This thought has nothing to do with confidence or even our appearance. It has everything to do with the relationship we have with our husbands. We want to know that he only has eyes for us. Women long to be adored and prized during all the various seasons of life, especially the hard ones. As wives, we are willing to do things to make ourselves attractive to our spouses, but we want them to notice! Husbands, we see how you look at us and hear your words loud and clear. We want to know that you find us desirable on all levels; sexually (you love our body), mentally (you love our intellect and perspective), and emotionally (you love our hearts). Let us know that you love being with us with your words and actions.
Am I succeeding at my job?
Just like men, women want to do the best job they can. We work hard and want our hard work to pay off and be appreciated by our husbands.
Do I have my priorities in line?
As I mentioned, women wear many hats, and it can be challenging to juggle our many duties. As a wife and mother, I have felt “mommy guilt” when it comes to balancing responsibilities at work and home. We want to be the best wife and mother possible while having a successful career if we work outside the home. It’s a daily struggle to be carefully handled with lots of prayer and patience with ourselves and others.
Am I a good wife?
Marriage is a blessing, and we want to get it right. Sometimes, we place our husband on the back burner, and then we start to see our relationship suffer. Husbands, we want to know that we are meeting your needs on all levels as much as we can. Many times, we are more willing to share our own needs with our husband than he is willing to share his needs with us. We aren’t mind readers! The more honest we can be with each other, the better.
Am I a good mother?
When we receive the blessing of motherhood, we immediately receive the weight that comes with it. We have visions of horror in thinking that thirty years down the road our grown children will have major issues and ultimately blame us for it. The struggle is real and sometimes messy, and just when you think you have a grip on things, you find yourself in a new season of life and parenting and the inadequacy starts to settle in again. It can be maddening because we desperately long to get it right.
Am I enough?
Sometimes, we don’t feel like there is enough of ourselves to go around, and it can be exhausting. When I was teaching, I would wake up and pour into my husband and kiddos and spend some time in prayer. Once I arrived at school, I would pour into my students. Once I got back home, I would make dinner for my family, run the kids to their various activities, and end the day by pouring into my husband and kids once again. I was honestly a shell of a person. I had been pouring out all day into the ones I love and doing something I loved to do, but I was completely spent. I would often lie in bed and think to myself “Am I enough?”. I think many women find themselves in the same boat. We often do so much but have so little to show for it at the time. We just want to know that we are enough, and many times that means we accept that giving our best is enough and that God will do the rest.
Am I respectable?
It has often been said that men desire to respect and women want to be loved. I think this is true on many levels, but women have a strong desire for respect as well. We want to know that our husbands, kids, family members, friends, and coworkers respect us. We don’t like to be disrespected—especially by our husband.
When can I get a break?
Sometimes, we just need a break. It could be a date night with our hubby, a girl’s night out with our friends, or just a lazy, quiet night watching our favorite television shows and a big scoop of ice cream (or glass of wine, or hey, let’s be real…both). For some reason, we feel guilty about needing this time, but everyone needs time to chill. Taking a couple of hours a week to reconnect with our husband, friends, or even ourselves is needed to lead a balanced life. So, ladies, let’s stop feeling guilty about this and give ourselves a break!
Am I making the world a better place?
As a Christian, I think this might be the most important question I can ask myself. No matter where you might be in your faith, I truly believe that God designed each and every one of us with a significant purpose to fulfill on this Earth. In big ways and small ways, each of us has something good to offer the world. As women, we want to know that all the time and effort we put into our family, friendships, churches, charities/ministries, and work is achieving a greater purpose and making the world a better place.
Ladies, what else would you add to this list? We’d love to hear from you! God bless you and your family.
As women, we want to know that all the time and effort we put into our family, friendships, churches, charities/ministries, and work is achieving a greater purpose and making the world a better place.