Without unity there is no profound revelation of God’s love in us.
One of the most beautiful things about a divine marriage is reaping the fruit of a relationship with God. If He is the center of our marriage, then we will live His Kingdom here on earth. The Lord’s Prayer becomes an everyday reality:
Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth [here in our marriage) as it is in heaven.
Matthew 6:10
It is no longer a petition for something we hope for; it’s a declaration of a reality in our lives. What does the Kingdom of God look like in marriage? Every kingdom has a culture, with values and customs that characterize it. Romans 14:17 explains that the Kingdom of God and its culture are not about food and drink but about righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. This means that if a marriage has joy, it is because there is peace between them and with God. If there is peace, it is because they are walking in righteousness. For example, if we live according to God’s principles and respect each other, there will be no unrighteousness or injustice between us, because respect takes precedence. This will bring peace to our home, which is the environment that cultivates joy and contentment.
On the other hand, when we are unrighteous and act unjustly in selfishness, we lose respect for one another. Peace flies out the window. Instead of joy, there is sadness, despair, discouragement, bitterness, etc. It is easy to tell the difference between a marriage that represents the Kingdom of God and its culture and one that does not. If we want to submit our will to God’s principles, we need to do what He says. He tells us that if others offend, then you forgive. If you offend others, then ask for forgiveness.
This world would be so different if we did this more often. But this is hard because of our pride and sinful thoughts. We are not willing to give in when we think we are right. The point is not who is right but who has the humility to talk about the issue without anger and bitterness. Having humility does not mean agreeing on everything but rather being able to take the other person into consideration, listen to their point of view, put the argument before God, and ask for His wisdom to reach the best agreement.
Unity in marriage is key.
Without unity there is no profound revelation of God’s love in us.
To achieve this unity, we must always maintain the culture of the Kingdom of God above our own ideas and traditions. To maintain this culture of righteousness, peace, and joy, Kristen and I ask ourselves these three questions when making decisions:
- Is what we want to do fair and honorable?
- Does it prioritize peace in our family?
- Will it ultimately bring joy to our home?
If the answer is yes, we go ahead with the plan. When we haven’t filtered our decisions by these questions, we have noticed the difference.
Take time to talk about what steps you can take toward a divine marriage, blessed by God and beautiful in its expression. Begin by surrendering your lives to Jesus as Lord and Savior if you have not already done so. Make sure your marriage is under God’s leadership. Take the first step, which is simply deciding to do it. Be encouraged and keep in mind what my Mexican abuelita would always tell me: “Mientras haya vida hay esperanza!” (“As long as we are breathing, there is still hope!”)
Luis & Kristen Roman’s book, Un Matrimonio Divino, is now available in English. To order your copy and view all our resources visit, xomarriage.com/xo-publishing.
XO Publishing is a leading creator of relationship-based resources. Our publishing house focuses primarily on marriage-related content for churches, small group curriculum, and people looking for timeless truths about relationships and overall marital health. XO Publishing focuses on authors who have a national and international reach through television, radio, and social media platforms. Distributed worldwide, current titles have helped millions find biblical truths in life, love, and family.