What if We Don’t Like the Same Things?


Most people agree that a strong friendship is the foundation for a fulfilling marriage. But what if you don’t like to do the same things? While it’s good to have common interests, it’s equally important to respect each other’s separate individual interests. You may find yourself pursuing different activities and hobbies than your spouse does. You may have even wondered if you can maintain your friendship if you have such different interests. Here are some ways you can stay friends with your spouse even if you don’t share the same activities.

Recognize you are both individuals.

Celebrate that you aren’t exactly the same. Having different interests doesn’t diminish the bond you have. He may like to hunt, while she wouldn’t kill a living thing. She may like to read, while he doesn’t even own a book. Those are not flaws; they are differences. Encourage each other to explore and pursue activities that bring personal fulfillment. As you nurture your own passions, you become a more interesting and attractive person.

Show interest and respect.

Even if you don’t have a common desire to pursue an activity, you can still show genuine respect in your spouse’s pursuits. Ask questions, actively listen, and engage in conversations about their experiences. Your involvement and encouragement can strengthen your sense of friendship and show your spouse that you value their interests. By all means, avoid ridiculing your spouse’s interests. You may think they are frivolous or silly, but you don’t want your spouse to feel disrespected. Treat them the way you want to be treated.

Find common ground.

While you may not share the exact same activities, you may find an overlap in your interests or hobbies. Identify those areas of common ground and try to engage in some activities together. By finding and nurturing shared interests, you can create bonding moments that enhance your friendship.

Discover new activities together.

Explore new activities that neither of you has tried before. You can grow and discover together. Take a cooking class, go hiking, or learn a new language together. It will deepen your friendship and create lasting memories.

Prioritize time with your spouse.

In any marriage time together is important. Dedicate time for each other without any distractions. Have meaningful conversations, laugh together, and listen to one another. This is how you build your emotional connection and strengthen your friendship.

Support each other’s growth.

Encourage and support each other’s personal development. Attend workshops, seminars, or events related to your spouse’s interests. As you invest in each other’s growth, you show your commitment to the friendship within your marriage.

Respect boundaries.

Nurture your friendship but respect each other’s boundaries. Understand both of you have individual needs and limits. Allow space for independent activities and healthy friendships. Respecting your spouse’s personal boundaries will strengthen your bond.

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