The world defines love as a feeling and something we fall in and out of, which means we can lose the love that someone has already given us. This is especially disheartening when it comes to marriage. If love is just a fickle feeling, then how in the world can any of us stay married for life?
The truth is, we can’t…if THAT’S love. But, don’t worry. This is GOOD NEWS…
The good news is God doesn’t define love this way. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says,
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”
And, verse 13 goes on to say,
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
Wow. THAT’S real love. That’s the kind of love that I want to have for my husband–not some wishy-washy, tepid love. I want the kind of love that lasts forever.
My husband, Dave, wrote an amazing book called, The Seven Laws of Love: Essential Principles for Building Stronger Relationships. In the book, he explains how God designed love and how we are to approach love and show love in all of our relationships. Right out of the gate, Dave talks about how “love requires commitment”. He goes on to say that we can’t truly love someone without being committed to the person and the relationship.
When we are committed to someone or something, we offer that person or thing lots of time, attention, and devotion. Sadly, there are many of us who are more committed to our hobbies and jobs than we are to our own families.
When we marry, we vow–or commit–to love our spouse for all the days of our lives. When we have kids, we are committed to raising our kids to the best of our ability and to never give up on them, no matter what. In friendships, we are committed to being there for our friends in times of need and protecting their reputations. As Christians, we show our love and commitment to Christ by praying, reading the Word, and doing what He’s called us to do the very best we can.
True love–God-designed love–requires commitment.
When life is hard and our relationship seems to be more difficult than usual, our feelings will change. But, our commitment can be unwavering when we CHOOSE to stay committed through thick and thin.
That is precisely why love–as the world knows it and defines it–is not enough.
But, love–as God designed it and defines it–IS.
We can’t choose our feelings. We’re human. But, we can choose to love someone enough to be committed to him/her.
This is how marriage is supposed to work. When both partners choose to love each other by staying fully committed to one another on a daily basis, the marriage will thrive. Let’s strive for THAT kind of love, Friends; a love and a commitment that will never fail.
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Dave and Ashley Willis have built a strong following, reaching millions of married couples through their blogs, books, and videos. Get Dave and Ashley’s most popular resources for couples and groups. Their mission is to create resources focused on building Christ-centered marriages and families. They have four young sons and live near Augusta, Georgia.