The words you say to your spouse on a consistent basis can make or break your marriage. Words are powerful. Proverbs 18:21 says, “DEATH and LIFE are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits (emphasis mine).”
That’s serious! Yet, so many of us, including myself, forget this from time to time. Both husbands and wives need to remember this, but husbands often don’t know quite what to say. They want to encourage their wives and build up their marriage, but they just aren’t sure where to start. Well, Husbands, it’s a lot simpler than it seems. Your wife just wants to hear you speak from your heart. Here are 3 specific statements your wife needs to hear from you (in no particular order):
1. “I love it when you ________.”
This one looks a little different for each couple, but the impression it will leave on your wife is the same. This statement is all about letting your wife know that you notice her and appreciate her for who she is. Tell her how much you love her infectious laugh, or the way she makes your favorite dish so perfectly, or how she gets excited and belts out her favorite song whenever it comes on the radio. It really doesn’t matter what IT is. Just pay close attention and take mental note of all those little things she does that often go unnoticed. Then, when she’s least expecting it, grab her hand, look into her eyes, and tell her how much you love it when she ____________. You’ll make her day, and she will feel loved.
2. “Thank you for _________.”
We ALL want to feel appreciated, and it’s a great way to show one another love and respect. So, think about all the things your wife does for you and your family and create moments to verbally thank her for it. When you meet her at the kids’ soccer practice that she takes them to week after week, tell her how much you appreciate her getting all the kiddos there on time and in uniform with water bottles and snacks in hand. Let her know that you see how hard she works day after day, and tell her how much you appreciate it. The words, “Thank you,” can do so much to build up your spouse and marriage, and they honestly cannot be said enough.
3. “I need you.”
This is a big one. Husbands, your wife wants to know that you desperately need her and want to be with her. She doesn’t want to feel secondary to your work, your friends, your hobbies, or even your kids. She feels close to you and loved by you when you tell her and show her that you need her partnership, time, attention, and love. Your wife wants to know that you desire her and need her sexually as well.
So, Husbands, take a moment each day to look into your wife’s eyes and tell her that you need her. You will make her feel wanted, needed, and adored by you.
The words you say to your spouse each day should be ones that build up, not tear down. Find moments every day to offer him/her a word of encouragement.
So, Friend, how are you going to encourage YOUR spouse today?
Husbands, you might want to start with the three statements above, and wives, you might want to check out my husband, Dave’s, blog, 3 Statements Your Husband Needs to Hear. These are good statements to start with, but the ways you can encourage and love your spouse through your words are endless! Just go for it! Your spouse will love hearing what you have to say and your marriage will become stronger and happier in the process.
Dave and Ashley Willis have built a strong following, reaching millions of married couples through their blogs, books, and videos. Get Dave and Ashley’s most popular resources for couples and groups. Their mission is to create resources focused on building Christ-centered marriages and families. They have four young sons and live near Augusta, Georgia.